You Are My Love: Breathless Book 2 Page 6

  "Why are you smiling at me like that?" Natalie asked with a bemused expression, breaking me out of my reverie.

  "Like what?" I asked her.

  "You're smiling at me like a crazy person."

  "I am?"

  She nodded. "Yes, you are."

  "I guess I'm just happy you like Maria," I told her instead of telling her that she looked beautiful holding a baby, and I wanted to put one inside her.

  "What's not to like?" Natalie asked as she smiled down at the baby again. "She's perfect. Aren't you, baby girl?" She caressed Maria's cheek with her fingertips and stared down at the infant with a soft affectionate expression. I felt my heart clench inside me, but in a good way. My God, I loved this woman and why I ever thought leaving her last weekend was a good idea eluded me now.

  "We should probably go downstairs for dinner," I told her after watching her for a few moments more. "I'll put her in her crib." I stood and leaned down to take Maria from a reluctant Natalie. I crossed the room with the baby, and I laid her in her crib. She roused a little, so I rubbed gentle circles on her tummy until she settled down into sleep again. I reached over and turned on the baby monitor that was sitting on the nearby dresser and grabbed the parent unit. I turned to find Natalie watching me with a surprised look on her face. "What?" I asked her with a frown.

  "How do you know so much about babies?" Natalie asked.

  "Believe it or not, but I've been babysitting for my nephews since they were infants," I told her with a wry smile. "I like kids, even babies."

  She looked surprised, and I thought I saw a trace of fear in her eyes.

  "If I hadn't gotten into psych nursing I probably would have gone into pediatrics. It was one of my favorite rotations in school." I clarified, trying to steer the subject into safer territory.

  "Just when I think that I've got you all figured out, David Mazur," she said with a smile as she walked up to me, "you go and surprise me again."

  "I'm a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma," I answered her with a grin as I took her in my arms.

  "Really?" she asked wryly. "You're quoting Churchill now? You're such a nerd." She shook her head in mock disgust.

  "Who's the real nerd?" I asked as I glared down at her, grateful for the subject change. "The one who quoted him or the one who knew it was Winston Churchill in the first place?"

  "You raise a good point, but I'm in denial about my growing nerdiness, so I'm going to ignore your question," she answered with a wicked smile. She wrapped her hands around the back of my neck and kissed me deeply until I couldn't string a single thought together.

  "What question?" I asked breathlessly when she finally pulled away.

  "Exactly," she answered smugly as her fingers glided through my hair. She stepped back and took my free hand. "Come on, let's go downstairs before someone comes looking for us, wondering if we're doing something inappropriate up here."

  "Do inappropriate thoughts count?" I asked. I pulled her hand up to my lips and sucked her index finger into my mouth, flicking her fingertip with my tongue. Her eyes dilated as she watched me avidly.

  "Damn you, Mazur," she grumbled in a low tone with a smile on her face. "Is this some more of your 'delayed gratification' crap?"

  "Maybe," I mumbled around her finger.

  "Well, it's working." She jerked her finger out of my mouth and stalked out of the room, but not before giving me an affectionate smile that belied her actions as I followed her out of the room. She loved it, and she knew it. I always enjoyed these games of ours. She made everything more fun, and I had been so little of it in the last year and a half, that it was a welcome change for the better.

  *********

  My phone started ringing not long after I got home from work on Monday. I hurried from my room, where I was changing clothes, out to the living room and snatched my phone off the coffee table. I was expecting a call from Natalie and couldn't wait to talk to her. Thankfully, I happened to glance at the screen before answering it. I stared at it in annoyance. It was Paige again, and I was instantly angry.

  "Fuck off," I growled under my breath and hit ignore on the screen. I tossed my phone down on the couch and stalked back to my room to put a shirt on. This wasn't the first time she had tried to contact me today. I got a text from her at lunch asking me to please call her. I ignored it, but my mood after that had gone to shit. I still didn't know what she wanted, and I didn't care. I just wanted her to leave me alone.

  On a whim, I decided to go for a run instead of waiting until morning. My knee was feeling back to normal, and I could use the distraction and the mood improvement. Especially since I had plans with Ben later. I changed into my running gear and was out the door in short order. I left my phone and ear buds behind, not wanting another call from Paige interrupting my run. If Natalie called, I could just call her back when I was done. I was sure she would understand.

  I ran five miles at an easy pace and was happy that my left knee didn't bother me once. My brain shut off almost immediately as the physical activity occupied my attention. It felt good to focus on my breathing and my pace, and let everything else fade into the background. It was just what I needed, and by the time I got home my mood had vastly improved.

  I grabbed my phone off the couch as I walked through the living room, heading to my room to undress before showering. There was a missed call from Natalie, and I let out a sigh of contentment. I needed to hear her voice. I sat down on my bed and called her back immediately.

  "David," she greeted me in a low sexy tone that made me shiver.

  "You sound is so sexy on the phone," I told her huskily. Her voice alone had gotten me instantly aroused.

  "Maybe I should do phone sex for a living?" she asked wryly.

  "It wouldn't be much of a living since I'm the only one allowed to call you."

  "Who says you'd be the only one?" she asked. I knew she was just trying to get a rise out of me, but it worked anyway.

  I growled possessively over the phone line. "You're mine. I don't share." My voice came out low and raspy, and almost unrecognizable as mine.

  She let out a wicked laugh that turned my insides into warm liquid. "I'm yours, my love. Just remember that you're mine as well." I loved it when she called me "my love", she didn't say it often, but when she did, it made me feel alive and strong. It made all my insecurities disappear for a little while.

  "I love you, Natalie," I told her softly. "You know I belong to you."

  "I know," she said, her voice becoming sweet and affectionate. "I'm your air."

  "Ty moe povitrya," I whispered.

  "I love you, too," she whispered back. "How was your day?" Her voice returned to normal.

  "Shitty," I admitted with a grumble. "Paige texted me at lunch then called when I got home." There was a long silence on the other end, and I worried that telling her had been a bad idea.

  "Why won't she leave you alone?" she finally asked in a fragile voice that surprised me. "What does she want from you?"

  "I don't know, sweetheart," I told her quietly.

  "Maybe..." she began uncertainly, then trailed off.

  "Maybe, what?" I asked.

  "Maybe you should find out," Natalie said, surprising me. "Maybe talking to her could help you let it go."

  "No," I answered harshly, my voice low and angry as I shut her down. "That's not going to happen. I will not talk to her. That idea is fucking ludicrous."

  The answering silence was deafening. I had never talked to Natalie that way before, and I was instantly filled with regret.

  "Natalie," I said softly with a sigh. "I'm sorry."

  "I have to go," she said without inflection, but I knew she was angry with me.

  "Sweetheart..."

  "I'll talk to you tomorrow." I could hear the anger and hurt in her voice this time.

  "Natalie," I pleaded again, but she had already hung up. I stared at my phone in disbelief. Why did I talk to her like that? What had I done? I was such an idiot. I tried to ca
ll her back, but it went straight to her voice mail, and I couldn't really blame her. I texted her an apology, not knowing what else to do, but she didn't reply after several long minutes. I gave up with a heavy sigh and went to take a shower, hoping I'd find a reply when I was finished. That didn't pan out either when I checked my phone ten minutes later.

  I got dressed, then carried my phone out to the living room and sat on the couch. I stared at the screen like I could will her into calling or texting me back. Shockingly, that didn't work either. I was seriously considering going to her apartment when the doorbell rang, making me jump. Damn, I was so distracted with Natalie that I forgot Ben was coming over. I rose to go answer the door with a sigh. It was just as well. Natalie probably needed some space before she'd be ready to talk to me again, and I didn't want to make this worse.

  "Greetings, good sir," Ben announced dramatically as I swung the door open. "I come bearing pizza and beer." He was dressed casually in a red and black plaid button-down shirt over a graphic T-shirt and jeans, carrying a pizza box and a six pack. His smile faltered a little as he looked at my face. He narrowed his blue eyes at me. "Trouble in paradise?"

  "What paradise?" I grumbled as he walked in and handed the beer to me on his way by. "I'm single-handedly turning my world into a shit-hole."

  "What the hell happened?" he asked as I followed him to the kitchen.

  "I'm an asshole," I said, exasperated with myself as I watched Ben set the pizza down on the kitchen island. I put the beer in the refrigerator, keeping two out for us.

  "Well, I could have told you that," he said with a smirk, trying to lighten my mood.

  "Thanks," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm as I grabbed some plates out of the cupboard.

  "Seriously, man," Ben said with actual concern. "What's going on?"

  I pushed a plate across the counter to him and sighed. "I saw Paige last weekend at Andy's wedding."

  "What?" His eyes widened in surprise.

  "She's engaged and pregnant now," I snarled out as I took a piece of pizza out of the box and slapped it down on a plate.

  Ben looked at me with a deepening frown then opened one of the beer bottles and pushed it toward me. "Here, you need this more than the pizza."

  I nodded and took it gratefully. I took a long drink of beer before continuing. "She keeps calling me," I said with a shake of my head.

  "What for?" Ben asked in annoyance. He had been very vocal about his hard feelings toward Paige since she dumped me.

  "I have no clue," I told him in a harsh tone. "I refuse to answer her calls or listen to her damn voice mails."

  "How does Natalie feel about this?"

  "Huh, it's funny you should ask," I growled out. "I imagine she's pretty pissed off about it right now. She suggested that I talk to Paige to let it go, and I treated her like shit. She hung up on me and won't answer my calls or texts now."

  Ben looked at me thoughtfully. "Are you going to?"

  "Going to what?" I asked irritably.

  "Talk to Paige, dumb-ass. Natalie makes a good point."

  I stared at him in disbelief that morphed into sudden anger. "Hell, no. I'm not talking to that bitch. Are you a fucking idiot?"

  Ben's face hardened. "You're right. You are an asshole." He shook his head and left the kitchen with his pizza and beer. I watched him walk out, feeling like a heel. I dragged a hand through my beard and stared at the granite counter top, seriously considering bashing my head on it a few times. Maybe it would knock some sense into me. Everything in my life was going to hell, and I knew exactly when this mess started. It was last Saturday at that damn wedding when I saw Paige. Everything was fine until then. Goddamn that woman, she was turning me into someone I didn't even like.

  I wandered out to the living room to find Ben on the couch with a game controller in his hand as he waited for the gaming system to turn on. He didn't even look at me as I sat down next him, and set my beer and pizza on the coffee table.

  "I'm sorry, Ben," I said quietly as I stared at the television.

  He handed me the other controller. "Don't worry about it, asshole," he said with a deep sigh of resignation, but I saw his smirk out of the corner of my eye. "I'll just take it out on you in the game. Prepare to be utterly destroyed."

  "Bring it on, you pansy."

  And just like that, Ben and I were okay again. If only it was that easy to fix things with Natalie. I had a bad feeling that I'd be doing penance for my behavior for quite a while. I wondered how long she was going to leave me twisting in the wind before she called me back. I'd let her have the time she needed to calm down, and I'd take whatever punishment she meted out, as long as she didn't leave me. Lord knew that I deserved all of it.

  Chapter Four

  Natalie

  "What crawled up your ass today?" Maggie asked me as she walked into my office with our lunch.

  "What are you talking about?" I asked irritably as I took a bag from her and laid it on the desk in front of me.

  "You've been in a foul mood all morning," she answered with an annoyed expression as she watched me pull my sandwich out. "Something is going on with you."

  "I'm fine," I grumbled, belying my words.

  Maggie pursed her lips as she sat down across from me and crossed her arms. "Oh really? Your fine?"

  "Yes," I answered her with a glare.

  "Then why did you bite Jamie's head off in the break room earlier?"

  "He finished off the coffee without making anymore," I argued. "He does that all the time. Someone needed to say something."

  She stared at me dubiously for a long moment, then narrowed her eyes at me. "What happened with David?"

  "Nothing," I denied as I pulled my eyes away from hers and started opening my tuna sandwich. There was dead silence from across my desk for several long moments before I finally looked up to see Maggie glaring at me. I didn't want to talk about it, but there was no way Maggie was going to drop this now. "David got shitty with me on the phone last night, so I hung up on him," I told her reluctantly.

  "What did he get shitty about?"

  "I told him he should find out why Paige keeps trying to contact him. I thought maybe he could get some closure from talking to her." I had already told Maggie about Paige and what she had done to him, even the abortion.

  "What did he say?"

  "He got nasty and told me that he wouldn't do it. He said my idea was fucking ludicrous." I said in a petulant tone. "And I haven't talked to him since."

  "That's all?" she asked with a perplexed expression. "He got nasty when you told him he needed to talk to Paige, the woman who dumped him and had an abortion behind his back, the woman he hates."

  "Yes."

  "He didn't even apologize?" she asked.

  "Well," I said sheepishly. "He did, but I was pissed and hung up anyway. He's never talked to me like that before. Who does he think he is?" My voice was becoming angry again.

  "Surely you can see why he reacted the way he did," Maggie said reasonably. "Just seeing her for a few seconds messed him up so badly that he tried to break up with you."

  "I know," I said, "but he hurt my feelings and...and..."

  "And what, Natie?" she asked with concern.

  "I...I feel like she still owns a part of him," I admitted. "It's like she's the third person in this relationship and every time she calls him, she's taking more of him away from me. I want him all to myself, and until he lets it go; she'll always be there, waiting to hurt him again. The pain and anger are eating him up inside, and I'm afraid he'll try to leave me again."

  "How is hanging up on him and refusing to talk to him since last night helping any of this?"

  "I don't know," I said with a sigh.

  "He's been hurt badly, Natalie," Maggie continued. "It's going to take a while for him to get over it, and you can't force him. He has to work it out for himself."

  "I'm really scared, Maggie," I felt like I might cry now. "I've never felt this way about anyone before. I don't know
what I'm doing. I'm out of my depth here. I'm equal parts terrified that he might leave me again, and scared of how serious our relationship is getting. I didn't exactly have a good example of what a successful relationship is from my parents."

  "Do you think maybe you're still angry about him for trying to leave you?" she suggested with a pensive expression.

  "Maybe," I grumbled. "Probably."

  Just then my phone chirped with an incoming text. I picked it up off the desk and saw that it was from David.

  I'm sorry. Please talk to me. I miss you.

  He'd been sending me texts like this all morning, and I'd ignored every one of them.

  "That's him again, isn't it?" Maggie asked. I nodded without looking up. "Haven't you left him hanging long enough? He didn't do anything that bad. We're all assholes at one time or another, right? Give him a break."

  I nodded as I started typing out a reply. I missed him too, and we needed to talk.

  I'll come over after work. I hit send and let out a sigh of relief. I'd been a tense irritable mess since last night and every time he called or texted me, I felt worse. I'd let this go on far longer than I should have, and now I felt like I owed David an apology.

  I'll be here. A few seconds passed, and another message popped up. I love you. A wave a guilt hit me. He was looking for reassurance that I still loved him. I had made him feel insecure about us, and I knew how hard it had been for him to trust me with his heart in the first place. I felt like an asshole.

  And I love you. I sent the message and looked up at Maggie.

  "Well?" she asked expectantly.

  "I'm going over to his house after work," I answered her.

  "Good," she said with a nod then gave me a sly smile. "A good hard shagging should improve your mood."

  "Maggie!" I blurted out in annoyance.

  "What?" she asked innocently. "Like that's not what you guys are going to be doing tonight?"

  "You don't have to make it sound so...so..."

  "Cheap, tawdry, tasteless, factual," Maggie suggested with a huge grin. "Shall I go on?"