Let Me Love You: Beautifully Broken Book 1 Read online

  "Nice to meet you, Sydney." His voice got even lower as he said my name and a shiver rippled through me. I wanted to hear him say my name again, but under very different circumstances. My blush continued.

  "Are you friends with the band that was playing earlier?" I asked, desperately trying to make conversation to distract myself from my arousal.

  "I know Todd, the singer. I've known him since high school," Jensen replied. "We were close back then. I haven't seen him for a while." He smirked. "You were watching me, weren't you?"

  "I...I." I stammered. So much for a distraction. How did this man throw me off so much?

  "It's okay." His smirk turned into a full-blown grin. "I was watching you, too." I looked into his eyes and saw the attraction simmering in them. God, I was in trouble here. I pushed my now empty glass aside, picked up the drink he had brought me and took several large gulps of it. He seemed delighted by my discomfort. It irritated me, so I decided to get even. I put the glass down and slowly licked the taste of cranberry juice from my lips. His eyes locked onto my mouth and then dilated with arousal. He shifted on his stool. It was my turn to smirk. Payback was a bitch!

  "Do you want to go dance with me?" I asked him flirtatiously. I noticed they were playing Uptown Funk, and I really loved that song.

  "If it means watching you dance; I'm in." He stood, and I took his outstretched hand to help me down from my stool. I purposely brushed my breasts against him to torture him further. His eyes wandered down to my cleavage and back up to my face. His smile was unapologetic.

  He led me out to the dance floor with my hand gripped in his tightly. We started dancing, and I noticed that the man could move. It wasn't over the top, but his hips moved in such a sexual way that I was aroused all over again. His eyes devoured my every move, watching me as if he were going to take me right there on the floor. When the song ended, another one began with a slow sensual beat. I stood abruptly still, not sure what to do. Jensen grabbed my hands and pulled me into him. He brought my arms up around his neck and pressed his body against mine. I gasped in surprise and stiffened.

  "It's okay," he whispered in my ear. "I've got you." His deep voice soothed me, and his arms held me against him firmly. It felt so good that I relaxed into him. I breathed him in and he smelled like heaven, just the right mix of man and whatever soap he used. I laid my head on his shoulder and gave myself over to the music as Jensen moved his hips with mine. My hands twined into the hair on the back of his head and gripped tightly. A deep growl escaped Jensen's throat, and I felt it rumble through his chest. I felt desire pulse down through me and pool between my legs. His hands slid down to my hips, and he pulled me into him. His erection pressed hot and hard against my belly through the denim of his jeans. I could feel his breath in my hair as his breathing quickened with arousal.

  One of his hands came up to the back of my head and gripped my hair. He pulled my head back firmly until our eyes met. He stared at my mouth with so much hunger that I licked my lips in invitation. With a groan, Jensen closed his eyes and pressed his lips to mine.

  His lips burned into me as his tongue licked along mine, begging to be let into my mouth. I opened up to him, and his tongue crashed into mine. The kiss was long and perfect, and another powerful rush of desire swept through me. It made me want to climb up his body and wrap my legs around his waist. Jensen's other hand gripped my ass. He ground his cock into me while he growled into my mouth. When the song finally ended we both broke the kiss reluctantly.

  "God, I want to fuck you," he whispered harshly into my ear. I wanted him to and I suddenly didn't care about anything but getting him inside me.

  "Take me home," I sighed into his ear, grabbing it between my teeth and pulling until he grunted in pain. He pulled back and looked into my eyes. I stared at him, breathing heavily. He seemed to see what he was looking for in my eyes because suddenly he took my hand and started leading me toward the front door. I followed behind struggling to keep up in my heels. I didn't care. Between the vodka and Jensen, I was so turned on I couldn't think straight. I just wanted to let go, and pretend the last few days had never happened.

  When we finally made it past the crowd and walked out the door, the cool spring air outside felt amazing on my bare shoulders. Jensen never slowed as he pulled me along, my heels clicking across the parking lot. Eventually, he stopped next to a large pickup truck and started fumbling his keys out of his pocket. I absently noticed the side of his truck said Hayes Construction on it.

  "Fuck." I heard him mumble under his breath. I reached out with my hand and touched his upper arm to calm him. He turned, grabbed my face in both his hands, and kissed me again. I closed my eyes and melted into him. I felt the cool metal of his truck against my bare upper back as he pressed me against it with his big body. This kiss was wild and feral, like he was trying to devour me with his mouth. His tongue pushed into my mouth, and I returned his ferocity with my own. Our tongues lashed against each other with such an intensity that I dug my nails into his back and pushed my breasts up against him. Jensen ground his cock against me again and let loose another primal growl deep in his chest.

  Suddenly, he pulled away and looked into my eyes again. His hands were still on my face, tenderly holding it up to meet his gaze. His green eyes burned like fire and there was a desperate longing in them that I hadn't seen earlier.

  "There's something about you..." He trailed off unable to get anymore words out. As I stared back, a sudden wave of panic welled up inside me. What was I doing? I didn't even know this guy! I couldn't do this. This reckless behavior was part of my past. A past I didn't want to repeat. He must have seen the alarm on my face. Concern filled his eyes. His sudden display of emotion was too much.

  "I...I can't do this," I whispered to him.

  "What?" he asked gently.

  "I've got to go home." Tears threatened to spill from my eyes. I pulled away from him, and his hands fell to his sides. The confusion on his face made me feel worse. This would have been so much easier if he had been a jerk. "I'm sorry."

  "Sydney?"

  "I'm so sorry." He just stood there, still looking confused. "I have to go." I turned and fled back toward the bar entrance, my heels clicking loudly across the parking lot again. I didn't dare to look back; it would have been my undoing. I made it back to the front doors without Jensen coming after me. Then I ran straight into Adam in the doorway.

  "There you are," he said. "Lauren is worried sick. Where were you?"

  "I need to go home," I said, and he realized that I was almost in tears. He grabbed my shoulders.

  "Are you alright?

  "I'm fine," I answered. "I just need to go home now." Adam stared at me suspiciously.

  "Did somebody try to hurt you?" He started looking around.

  "No!" I scowled up at him. Just then Lauren came up to us.

  "Thank God," she said. "Are you okay?"

  "For fuck's sake, I'm fine!" I blurted out in exasperation. "Just take me home now!"

  Adam looked to Lauren for a decision. She looked at me suspiciously. No doubt my lipstick was most likely smeared, and my lips were probably still swollen from kissing Jensen. She reached up and touched my cheek. She pursed her lips and looked me over thoroughly.

  "Please." I pleaded with my eyes for her to let this go.

  "Alright, let's go." She sighed in resignation.

  Adam gestured toward the door, and Lauren grabbed my hand to lead us out to Adam's car.

  They both got into the front seats of his 4-door silver BMW. I climbed into the back and rolled down my window for some air. As Adam pulled out of the parking spot and started driving through the lot, I stared out the window trying to pretend that Lauren wasn't watching me. Unfortunately, that put Jensen, who was standing by the back of his truck, in my line of sight. Our eyes met for just a moment as the car glided past him. His face was expressionless, but the pain I had seen just under the surface earlier was now right there, staring back at me through his eyes. I closed m
y eyes and turned away from the window. I didn't open them until I was sure I wouldn't see Jensen again.

  I was dead asleep when my phone started ringing. I reached from under the blankets and slapped my hand around on my bedside stand until I found the damn thing. I answered without even checking to see who was calling.

  "Hello?" I mumbled.

  "Syd?" a familiar male voice asked.

  "Yeah."

  "Oh, um, its Rob. I'm sorry to call so early, but I'm kind of in a jam." I sat up as I realized it was my boss. "Lisa just called in and we were already short staffed. You know how busy the coffee shop gets on Sunday morning."

  I glanced at the time on my phone. Shit, it was only six o'clock in the morning!

  "I hate to bother you on your weekend off, but..." he continued sheepishly.

  "Just spit it out, Rob," I blurted out in exasperation. We had worked with each other long enough that I could get away with a little insubordination.

  "Do you think you could come in today around nine?" he asked in a pleading tone. "I'd only need you to stay until two."

  After a long sigh, I answered him. "Sure, Rob, but that means I get Wednesday off."

  "Whatever you want, Syd," he said with relief in his voice. "I owe you one for this."

  "Yes, you do."

  "Thanks, I'll see you at nine."

  "I'll be there." I ended the call and sat there for a moment. God, I felt like crap. I must have drunk more than I thought. My head felt fuzzy, and it was starting to throb. I was starting to feel nauseous as well. It was going to be a very long day. I set the alarm on my phone for seven thirty and placed it back on the bedside stand. I groaned deeply and laid down. Sleep claimed me again almost immediately.

  My phone started ringing once more, and it felt like it had been literally moments since the last time. I grabbed it and answered, thinking it was Rob calling me again.

  "What now?!"

  "Sydney?" a smooth male voice replied in annoyance. My eyes flew open. It was Clay. Shit, shit, shit! I sat up in dismay, and the sudden vertigo made me want to throw up. "Why haven't you answered any of my texts?"

  "Because I have nothing to say to you!" I snapped back at him angrily. Just the sound of his voice was enough to set me off.

  "If you just let me explain." He spoke to me as if I were acting like an unreasonable child. My annoyance increased.

  "Explain what? I think finding your booty call app open on your phone seemed pretty self-explanatory. Don't you think?!"

  "If I could just come over and talk to you."

  "I have absolutely no desire to see you, let alone talk to you," I answered firmly. "Besides, I have to work. Good-bye!" I ended the call.

  My phone started ringing again. I hit the ignore button and set the phone to mute. The clock on my phone said seven-fifteen. There was no point in trying to go back to sleep now. I didn't know if I should scream in rage or just start crying. My growing headache started to throb, and I chose tears.

  I left my phone where it fell from my hand, and shuffled out of my room toward the bathroom. If I cried in the shower Lauren wouldn't be able to hear me. The tears started streaming down my face half-way down the hall. I managed to make it into the bathroom, shut the door, and turn on the fan before the sobbing actually began.

  About an hour later, I emerged from my room dressed in black khakis and a red polo shirt, ready for work. I had been able to get myself back together in the shower, so Lauren wouldn't have to know about my little breakdown. I walked out into the living area to find Lauren in the kitchen half of the open room. She was dressed in Adam's T-shirt from last night and a pair of cut off denim shorts. She was standing at the stove swaying her hips to the slow grooves of Glass Animals playing from her open laptop nearby. I could smell potatoes and French toast. Thanks to my hangover the usually delightful smell turned my stomach.

  "Good morning, Syd!" She turned and beamed over the breakfast bar at me. "You're up early."

  Lauren was a "morning person," and I was most definitely not. I normally found her cheeriness slightly irritating, but in my current condition, it was very annoying.

  "I got called into work today," I grumbled and sat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar.

  "That sucks!" Lauren pulled a travel mug out of the cupboard, stepped over to the coffee machine, and poured some coffee into it. She stirred in a little sugar and cream, and then placed it front of me.

  "Thanks." I sighed gratefully and wrapped my hands around the warm metal.

  "Think you could stomach some food?" Lauren asked pleasantly.

  "God, no." My stomach turned further at the thought.

  "How about some ibuprofen?" I nodded, and she handed me a couple of tablets from the bottle already sitting on the counter. The woman always thought ahead. I swallowed them with a few sips of coffee. It tasted like heaven. I glanced up and found Lauren looking back expectantly.

  "What?"

  "Really? You're not going to say anything about last night?" She was pointing her spatula at me now. Shit, I was hoping she had forgotten about that. "What the hell happened to you?" She wasn't going to let this go.

  "Let's just say that some old behaviors tried to tempt me, and I had to get out of there before I did something I'd regret," I answered vaguely hoping she wouldn't demand any details. I wanted to forget last night had ever happened. Her eyes widened for a moment as she continued to look at me. Then to my surprise she turned back to the stove and changed the subject.

  "How long do you have to work?

  "Just until two."

  "That's not so bad," she answered as she started putting pieces of French toast onto a plate. "I could make dinner tonight if you like."

  "That sounds great. Thanks." Our eyes met, and she knew I was thanking her for more than just dinner.

  "Is Adam still here?" I asked.

  "He's sleeping." She winked at me and smiled. "He wore himself out last night."

  "Ew! T.M.I!" My face wrinkled in disgust. "And on that note, I'm going to work."

  I got up, grabbed my purse, and left as her laughter followed me out the door.

  The Bean There, Done That Cafe was busy as I walked in the front door. I had already seen the long line through the floor to ceiling windows that fronted the shop. I waved at Rob and the other two employees behind the serving counter to my left as I wove my way through the crowd towards the back of the store. I just needed to stow my purse in my locker in the back room before getting to work. Rob walked in through the backroom door, just as I was closing my locker.

  "Thank God you're here, Syd. It's a madhouse out there!" He looked harried and tired. Tendrils of hair were starting to escape the ponytail that he normally wore his shoulder length dark hair in. He was a tall, attractive man in his mid thirties, but a little too thin for my tastes. He had this whole hot pirate, Johnny Depp thing going on that a lot of female customers seemed to appreciate, if their constant flirting was any indication. He rubbed his hand through his goatee. "You have no idea how glad I am you could come in today."

  "That's why I'm getting Wednesday off." I said with a grin of amusement.

  "It's a small price to pay for your help today. We're really going to miss you around here." He smiled with gratitude.

  "You've been a great boss Rob, and I'll miss all you guys." I changed the subject before I got emotional about this being my last week here. "Well, let's get to work." He turned, and I followed him out to face the growing crowd.

  The next two hours flew by in a blur as we made and served drink after drink to a never-ending line of people. The tip jar was almost full by the time things finally started to slow down. When we finally had time do a clean up before the next rush, and Rob could go to the back to do some inventory, I had a moment to realize I still felt like shit. I sighed audibly as I was cleaning the front counter.

  "You feeling alright, Syd?" a female voice asked from behind me.

  "Not really." I turned to look at my co-worker, Jill. She was a peti
te blond with a mass of sunny curls on her head. She was my age, but looked a lot younger. I think it was because she was constantly smiling. "My body is having a disagreement with the vodka from last night."

  "I have a cure for that!" Yvonne, my other co-worker for today, announced as she walked past us with a rag and a spray bottle to clean the tables. She was tall and gorgeous, with legs that went on for miles and flawless mocha skin. I always told her she could be a model. She even looked good in our uniforms. "More vodka!" she yelled from across the room.

  "Ugh!" I grimaced then smiled at her. "No. Way."

  "Did you have a hot date with Clay?" Jill asked with a suggestive waggle of her eyebrows. I felt my smile slip from my face. Jill's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, my God. What happened?" The concerned expression on her face nearly brought me to tears.

  "We...we broke up Friday." I answered reluctantly. I really didn't want to talk about it right now. Crying at work was always a bad idea. Jill seemed to pick up on that and simply nodded at me in understanding. Yvonne apparently hadn't.

  "I never liked that guy, anyway!" Yvonne said as she walked up to the counter in front of me. "He wasn't good enough for you."

  "Thanks, Yvonne." I told her quietly. "But I'd really rather not talk about it right now." My facial expression must have been enough to convince her, and she nodded.

  "I'm sorry," she said with sympathy in her voice. With that we all got back to work, and I spent the next few minutes of our comfortable silence getting myself under control. When I finally got thoughts of Clay out of my head, a sudden image of a green-eyed guy with a gorgeous face popped into my head. I embraced the distraction and started imagining Jensen's arms around me and the way his lips had felt on mine. I figured a little fantasy couldn't hurt. It's not like I would ever see him again.

  "Holy shit!" Yvonne suddenly announced from the middle of the room. "Look at the ass on that!" I looked up at her. She was staring out toward the front windows with a huge grin on her face. I followed her gaze and saw the focus of her attention through the glass.