Let Me Heal You: Beautifully Broken Book 3 Read online

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Books by Samantha Wolfe

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Epilogue

  Authors Note

  You Are My Air Excerpt

  About the Author

  Let Me Heal You

  By Samantha Wolfe

  Copyright © 2015 Samantha Wolfe

  All rights reserved.

  Books by Samantha Wolfe

  Beautifully Broken Trilogy

  Let Me Love You:Beautifully Broken Book 1

  Let Me Save You:Beautifully Broken Book 2

  Let Me Heal You:Beautifully Broken Book 3

  Breathless Trilogy

  You Are My Air: Breathless Book 1

  You Are My Love: Breathless Book 2

  You Are My Life: Breathless Book 3

  Order & Chaos Trilogy

  An Act of Restraint: Order & Chaos Book 1

  An Act of Release: Order & Chaos Book 2

  An Act of Redemption: Order & Chaos Book 3

  Dangerous Desire Duet

  Dark Dominion: Dangerous Desire Book 1

  Dark Devotion: Dangerous Desire Book 2 (Summer 2017)

  To the love of my life and my best friend. You've always supported and encouraged me, even when others didn't. Thanks for always being there and having my back. I love you, Mr. J.

  Chapter One

  Sydney

  "Holy shit!" I blurted out and jerked to a halt as I was entering Jensen's living room. Andy plowed right into me, and I stumbled forward. He grabbed my arm to steady me, then we just stood there in shock for a moment, staring around the room. It was in shambles.

  The television was shattered, with shards of glass everywhere. Broken CDs and DVDs littered the floor. One of the lamps that used to sit next to the sofa had been smashed against the wall. A bunch of pictures lie broken on the floor. There were two fist-sized holes punched through the drywall on one wall. Several empty bottles of vodka were on the floor near the couch. Only one of them was still intact. There were several areas of dried-up vomit on the hardwood floor between the stairs and the couch.

  "What the fuck happened in here?" Andy asked incredulously as he took a few steps forward, his black Chuck Taylors crunching across the debris.

  "Jensen happened," I mumbled in shock.

  It was Tuesday afternoon, and Andy and I had just shown up at Jensen's condo to clean the place up and drop off some groceries for him before he came home tomorrow. He'd been in the hospital for almost three days now, thanks to the seventy-two-hour hold he was under because of his suicide attempt. Jensen was not a patient man, and he had started to get restless yesterday. This morning I noticed his temper was starting to fray around the edges. I thought if I told him we had cleaned his place up and bought him some food for tomorrow, maybe we could keep him calm until then.

  "Andy," I said and he turned to face me, his face still slack with shock. "We're going to need help to clean this up." It took a second for his eyes to focus on me before he spoke.

  "I'll call Lydia. You call David," he told me as he took his phone out of his pocket.

  "Okay," I answered and got my phone out. Within moments, we had re-enforcements on the way.

  "Should we see how bad the upstairs is?" Andy asked after hanging up with his girlfriend. He glanced up the stairs with trepidation in his eyes.

  "Might as well see how bad it is," I said with resignation and headed up the steps with Andy close behind.

  I was relieved to find the bedroom untouched, but the rumpled sheets that Jensen and I had left reminded me of Saturday and that horrible nightmare of a day. I passed the doorway swiftly and moved down the hall to his spare bedroom. I stopped in the doorway, and Andy peered over my shoulder into the room. Jensen's computer had been smashed to bits, and I was pretty sure his white Fender guitar was the weapon he had used against it. The guitar was destroyed, the wood splintered and the neck snapped, and it had been tossed onto Jensen's treadmill.

  "Oh, no," he whispered as he pushed passed me into the room and hurried toward the acoustic guitar that was lying in the middle of the floor. Andy lifted it up and cradled it in his arms, examining it closely. "Thank God, it's not damaged," he said with relief as he met my eyes. "This was Jordan's," he told me, his face grim as he placed it carefully back on its stand. "He'd have never forgiven himself if he had fucked this one up." This was the first time that Andy had ever mentioned Jensen's brother before. I had always been curious to learn more about Jordan, but asking Jensen had never been an option.

  "What was Jordan like?" I asked Andy quietly, unsure if he would talk about it either. He turned toward me with a sigh, and I thought maybe I shouldn't have asked, but he didn't look angry or upset, just sad.

  "Jordan was larger than life," Andy said with a wan smile. "Outgoing, charismatic. Everybody loved him, especially Jensen. He idolized Jordan." Andy turned and looked at Jordan's guitar again. "They used to play together all the time. They were in a band with each other."

  "Really?" I asked in surprise. This was a side of Jensen that I knew nothing about.

  "I think I have a video of them from last year," Andy said as he pulled his phone out again. "Do you want to see it?"

  "Okay," I answered slowly, disconcerted by Andy's willingness to share. The feeling was probably due to spending so much time avoiding the subject with Jensen. I watched him scrolling through screens until he found what he wanted, then handed the phone to me. I touched play and was instantly mesmerized.

  The camera was focused on Jensen holding the same gorgeous green Gibson guitar that was sitting on a stand in this very room. He was standing on a small stage with his band in what looked like a bar. He was looking to his right smiling. He nodded and then focused his attention on his guitar as he began to play a dirty blues riff, his fingers gliding effortlessly across the strings. A moment later, he raised his head to the microphone and started singing about being born under a bad sign. His voice was smooth and soulful, just like the one time he had sung for me before. The frame widened, and I could see someone else to Jensen's right playing another guitar. He looked a lot like Jensen, tall and muscular with dark hair and eyes, and just as handsome. As Jensen finished another verse, Jordan stepped forward and began playing a solo. His eyes were squeezed shut as he got into it, his fingers flying along the strings and shaking his head with the rhythm. Jordan was really good, and I could see the charisma Andy had been talking about. I couldn't take my eyes off the tiny screen.

  The camera panned back over to Jensen as he sang the next verse. He looked damn sexy playing that guitar, his voice so sensual. Then to my amazement, he stepped backward after singing and started a guitar solo of his own. He was good too, just like his brother, the guitar wailing the blues with Jensen intense and focused in the moment. It gave me the chills, and I felt a sudden longing to see him play for me. Jordan stepped back into the frame then, and the brothers faced each other, trading solos back and forth as they watched each other with huge smiles on their faces. Their close connection was a beautiful thing to see, but it also filled me with a deep sorrow as I saw a glimpse of just how devastating Jensen's loss had really been. I suddenly couldn't watch it anymore, feeling overwhelmed by my empathy for the man I loved. I handed the phone back to Andy, looking up and seeing sadness in his ey
es as he took it from me.

  "Thank you," I whispered to him, and he nodded in acknowledgment as he put his phone back in his pocket.

  "They were really good, weren't they?" Andy asked me with a sigh. I nodded.

  "Do you think he'll ever play again?" I asked Andy quietly.

  "I don't know, Syd," he answered with a slow shake of his head. "I hope so." We stood staring at Jensen's Gibson guitar for several moments before Andy suggested that we got the groceries out of his car. I was grateful to get out of the heaviness in this room.

  I followed Andy out to his car, and we gathered all the shopping bags from his trunk and carried them back into the house. We walked into the kitchen, and my eyes were immediately riveted to the counter, suddenly unable to hear whatever Andy had been saying. There was a wilted bouquet of pink daisies lying next to the sink, and my breath caught in my throat. I set the bag in my hands on the kitchen table and walked mindlessly over to the flowers. I reached out to touch them, my lower lip beginning to tremble. Jensen had bought me flowers for the first time that day, and I had already left him when he got here. I wondered what must have been going through his head when he discovered I was gone. The guilt slammed into me again, coming out of me in a tearing sob.

  "Syd?" Andy asked from behind me. "Are you okay?"

  I shook my head vehemently and stepped back from the bouquet. Andy's eyes focused on them for a second, then focused on me again. The sympathy in his eyes tore me apart, and the sobs came hard and fast.

  "Oh, Syd," he said and came to me, wrapping his arms around me.

  "He...he bought me flowers, and I left him." I sobbed into Andy's shoulder.

  "Shh," he said as he rubbed comforting circle on my upper back and let me blubber all over his shirt for a while. Andy was good people. He pulled back as I finally started to calm down.

  "I'm going to go the bathroom," I announced feebly, needing a minute alone to get a hold of myself. Andy nodded in understanding, and I made my way to the guest bathroom down the hall. I sat down on the closed toilet seat and tried to gather myself back together. I'd been falling apart multiple times every day since Saturday, my guilt creeping up and overwhelming me. It scared the hell out of me each time I felt myself losing control. These feelings were disturbingly familiar. I thought I had finally left all that behind me, but I guess I'd been wrong. I had to get a handle on myself. I couldn't be losing it when Jensen needed me most. I focused on my breathing, letting it in and out slowly, willing myself to calm down. I didn't want Andy worrying about me either. He had enough on his plate already.

  After a while, I realized I could hear voices talking outside the door. I guess I'd hidden in here long enough and if David was out there, he'd know something was up if I stayed in here much longer. I rubbed at my eyes with a deep sigh as I stood. I glanced in the mirror to see a haunted look on my face. I plastered on a smile that didn't even convince me and walked out to face reality again.

  **********

  David was in the kitchen with Andy when I emerged from the bathroom. He was dressed in athletic shorts and a tank top, a sheen of sweat on his forehead and ear buds hanging around his neck. He had been out on a run when I called him, and since he was closer to Jensen's place than his own, he had just continued his run and ended it here.

  "Hi, Syd," he greeted me as he noticed me walk in, zooming in on my face with narrowed eyes. "Are you alright?"

  "Just...having a moment," I said vaguely, hoping he wouldn't push for more. He shared a worried glance with Andy, but didn't say anything else about it.

  I walked over to the groceries and began putting them away, noticing that the dried-up flowers were gone. Andy must have gotten rid of them, and I was filled with gratitude. I turned and gave him a small smile that he returned with a nod as they were leaving the room. I found myself taking my time, not really wanting to go back into the living room. I didn't want to see it again. I didn't want to see the proof of what I had done to Jensen. I had left him when he needed me most and made him think he had nothing left to live for, so he had destroyed his home and tried to destroy his life. The guilt hit me again as I stood in the middle of the room, followed by a claustrophobic sensation that the walls were closing in on me.

  I surged toward the door out to Jensen's deck and hurried outside. I moved to the railing, placing my hands on it and staring unseeing at my feet, gasping in breaths as I tried to calm down. This was ridiculous. I'd been here countless times, made so many good memories in this place. Why couldn't I focus on any of those? More tears fell, a curtain of them blurring my vision. A had a sudden bone-deep longing for Jensen to be here with me. Maybe when the place was cleaned, and he was here with me again, I'd feel less unsettled. I turned as I heard the door behind me swing open.

  "Sydney?" Lydia was standing just inside the door as she held it open looking at me, her eyes sympathetic.

  "Hi, Lydia." I wiped at my tears with my fingers even though she already knew I had been crying. She walked out onto the deck and stopped next to me.

  "It's pretty bad in there, isn't it?" she asked me, her eyes filled with compassion.

  "Yeah," I whispered and looked away from her. She stepped closer and put a hand on my shoulder. Her comforting touch was enough to set me off into tears again. I turned toward her and let her wrap her arms around me. I cried for several long moments before she spoke again.

  "Do you need to get out of here?" she asked me quietly. "We can take care of this."

  "Are you sure?" I mumbled as I leaned back to look at her.

  "Absolutely," she answered with a smile. "You should go see Jensen and keep him from driving the nurses crazy for a while. He's probably scowling at all of them as we speak."

  "Okay," I said with a small smile, and I pictured him doing just that. Hell, his scowl when he found out he couldn't go home until Wednesday had pretty much been a fixture on his face since Monday morning.

  "We'll make sure everything is taken care of," she reassured me. "Don't worry."

  We walked back into the house, and I peeked into the living room to say good-bye to Andy and David. David was picking up some of the larger pieces of the broken vodka bottles and putting them in the trash bag he was carrying. Andy was standing in the middle of the room holding another trash bag with a lost look on his face as he surveyed all the damage.

  "I'm going to take off," I said as Andy met my eyes. Lydia walked past me, took the bag out of Andy's hands, and started picking up the broken picture frames.

  "Alright," Andy said with a look of understanding. I had a feeling he wanted to leave too, but knew he wouldn't. "Are you going to the hospital?"

  "Yeah," I nodded. "I think the staff will be happy to see someone he can complain to besides them." Andy smiled at that and nodded, before leaning down to help Lydia.

  "I'll walk you out, Syd," David announced from the other side of the room, his eyes noticing my tear-stained face. He dropped the trash bag and approached me. I turned to leave, and he followed me down the steps and out the door. He wrapped an arm protectively around my shoulders as we walked to my car.

  "What's going on?" he asked with concern as we stopped next to my driver's side door. So much for hiding anything from David. I don't even know why I tried.

  "That mess in there is just too much for me, David," I admitted with a sigh, but refusing to mention the panicked feeling I had on the deck. I didn't want him to think I was relapsing.

  "It looks like something exploded in there," he said with a shake of his head. Something had exploded. Jensen had completely lost it in there, and the thought filled me with such pain and guilt.

  "I'll call you later," I told him as I opened the car door.

  "Do you want me to drive you to the hospital tomorrow morning to bring him home?" David offered with a pensive expression.

  "Yeah," I told him gratefully. "I'd like that."

  "I'll see you tomorrow," David said with a sad smile and embraced me in a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist and
took the comfort he was offering me, then climbed into my Honda. He stood in the driveway watching me drive away with a suspicious look in his eyes. Sometimes having a psychiatric nurse as a best friend sucked ass. I was going to have to work on my acting skills.

  **********

  Traffic was light for once, and I made it to the hospital quicker than I expected. I walked into the building swiftly, anxious to see Jensen. I had visited early this morning before heading to work and was fortunate that they let me have the afternoon off. My new boss had been very understanding after I explained the situation to her.

  As I approached Jensen's hospital room, I could hear the deep rumbling rasp of his voice as he complained about not being able to go home again. I knocked on the partly open door and walked in to find Annie sitting next to his bed, smiling at me. Jensen's scowl immediately transformed into a heart-stopping grin. He touched a button on one of the bed rails and raised himself into a sitting position with a slight wince. His green eyes lit up like fire as his eyes travel up and down my body. A lascivious glint was in his eyes, and I knew he was feeling much better and relief washed over me.

  "Surprise," I said with a huge smile. He hadn't been expecting me until later this evening.

  "Sydney, baby," he said breathily, still smiling and reaching out to me with a hand, a look of longing in his eyes. I walked over and gripped his hand tightly, our eyes locked together, and I forgot for several long moments that we weren't alone as we gazed at each other.

  "I think I'm going to head home, Jensen," Annie announced as she rose from her chair. I was startled as Jensen broke our eye contact to look at his sister-in-law.

  "Alright." He smiled and nodded.

  "I'll bring the kids over later in the week to see you," Annie said. "I'll call you before we come over."

  "Okay," he answered, his eyes lighting up. "See you later."