Let Me Heal You: Beautifully Broken Book 3 Read online

"Bye, Sydney," Annie said warmly and touched my arm as she passed. I really liked Annie. We had gotten to know each other a little over the last few days. She was a warm passionate woman who loved her family dearly. I didn't know how she coped with the loss of her husband without losing herself completely.

  I turned back to Jensen, taking in his warm smile and the scruffy beard he'd grown over the last few days. He looked devastatingly sexy, and I couldn't wait to be alone with him again. He must have seen the longing on my face. His hand tightened on mine as his eyes darkened and focused on my lips.

  "I miss you," he whispered with need. "I want to kiss you all over. I want to touch you." He pulled me down toward himself. I didn't fight him. I missed him too, craved his hands and lips on me. He cradled my face in his hands with such tenderness in his eyes, that it took my breath away. His kiss seared into me as he pressed his lips to mine, gliding his tongue across my mouth with a low growl. I parted my lips, inviting him in with a moan. His tongue surged into my mouth desperately, and I could feel his need as he fed on me with low moans of pleasure.

  The sound of someone clearing their throat came from behind me. Jensen pulled back a few inches from my face. He closed his eyes and pursed his lips as he let out a soft sigh of disappointment. He released my face, letting me stand up straight again. And then the scowl was back. He glared at the door. I turned to see Jensen's nurse in the doorway, an annoyed look on her face. Apparently, the thrill of having a patient as gorgeous as Jensen wore off since this morning. She was young and pretty, probably my age, with olive skin and her dark hair pulled up into a knot at the back of her head.

  "Mr. Hayes," she said brusquely as she approached Jensen. Apparently, they weren't on a first-name basis anymore either. This morning when she had started her shift, she had been overly friendly bordering on straight out flirting, and I had found it annoying. Jensen had been oblivious, too caught up in his impatience to get the hell out of this place to notice her interest. I'm not even sure he remembered her name was Tracy. "I just need to check your vitals again," she explained as she glanced at the monitor above the bed that displayed his heart rate and blood pressure.

  "I'm pretty sure they're the same as last time," he grumbled as he stared straight ahead, not seeing the glare Tracy directed at him at his comment. I'd have called him out for being rude, but her earlier flirting had pissed me off, and I liked watching him get under her skin.

  "Do you need anything?" she asked as she turned back to Jensen, her lips pursed with irritation.

  "Yeah," Jensen answered sarcastically. "I need to get the fuck out of here."

  "Jensen," I scolded him this time, "stop being rude. She's just doing her job." I was shocked to see him actually wince at my words, his face apologetic.

  "Sorry," he said sheepishly as he finally looked at Tracy. She looked startled by the apology and met my eyes with a smile of gratitude that I returned with a nod. Who'd have thought I had that kind of influence over this man? Even his own mother wasn't been able to get him to stop being rude to the nurses yesterday.

  "That's alright," Tracy told him with a small smile. "I'll be back in a little while." I watched Jensen's jaw clench as she left the room, and I think he was keeping a sarcastic comment to himself. Good boy. I smiled wryly.

  "I need to get up to use the bathroom," Jensen announced after she was gone.

  "Why didn't you tell her that?" I asked curiously.

  "I want you to help me." His voice sounded small and vulnerable as he looked up at me. I could see that it was killing him to have to accept help just to get up. It would hurt his pride a little less if I helped him instead, and I would give that to him. I nodded in understanding.

  "Come on," I said, setting my purse down on the foot of the bed and lowering the rail for him. I took off his blood pressure cuff and disconnected the wire to his heart monitor, then grabbed his upper arm. "I want you to take a big breath in, and then let it out as you sit up. Okay?" I said, and he nodded. He took in a breath, and I helped him pull himself up as he let it out. His wince of pain was minor for once. He swung his legs off the bed and stared up at me in amazement.

  "Where did you learn that?"

  "Just a little trick I picked up in nursing school," I said with a grin. "We're going to do that again when you stand." He did it once more and stood up relatively easily. He smiled down at me, then pulled me gently into his arms and sighed. I carefully wrapped my arms around his waist. It felt so good to be in his arms again.

  "That's better," he mumbled as he held me close, tucking my head under his chin. "You smell so good." He stood there for a while, not moving.

  "I thought you had to go to the bathroom," I said with a smirk.

  "Oh, yeah," he said with amusement as he let go of me. I walked him over to the bathroom even though he really didn't need my help for that, but I was enjoying the physical contact.

  "You look pretty cute in this hospital gown," I told him as he entered the bathroom. "It's too bad they let you have those pants though." I nodded toward the drawstring pants he was wearing. "Your ass would have looked adorable hanging out the back."

  "Thanks," he replied with a wry grin as he closed the door. I walked over to the bed and sat down in the chair next to it with a sigh. I was starting to feel just as impatient for Jensen to get out of here as he was now. I wanted him all to myself for a while, wanted to sleep in his arms again. I'd spent the last few nights lying in bed alone, longing for him to be there with me. It wasn't just the sex. I missed the intimacy of sleeping next to him and waking up to his gentle kisses in the morning. I had come so close to never having that again, and the thought filled my eyes with tears once again. I closed my eyes tightly, trying to will away the guilt that was suddenly twisting my stomach in knots.

  "Baby?" Jensen's voice asked. "What's wrong?"

  I glanced up to see him standing in the now open bathroom doorway, looking at me with worry in his beautiful eyes. His concern tore me apart. Even with everything he was going through, he still worried about me. He walked across the room and sat on the edge of the bed facing me. He reached out with a wince and wiped a few tears from my cheek.

  "I...I almost lost you," I mumbled out with a sob, unable to stop it. It was the first time either of us had mentioned anything about how close he had been to dying. We had both avoided the subject all together since it happened.

  "I was so fucked up that night," he whispered. "So fucking drunk that I wasn't thinking straight. I didn't think about what I was doing to anybody else. I'm so sorry." He looked haunted and lost as he stared past me out the window. He killed a part of himself that night that he'd never get back. He would never be the same after this, he couldn't be. I knew that with certainty since I'd been there myself. "If you and David hadn't gotten there when you did..." he trailed off with a shudder, unable to finish the sentence.

  I stood, stepped between his knees, and pulled him in against my chest, cradling his head between my breasts. He wrapped his arms around my waist and relaxed against me.

  "I love you," I told him breathlessly. "I'm so glad you're still here with me."

  "So am I, baby," he replied shakily. "So am I."

  **********

  I walked into my apartment to the amazing smell of Italian food. Lauren was just pulling a pan out of the oven as I dropped my purse on the couch and walked over to the breakfast bar.

  "I hope you're hungry, Syd," Lauren announced as she turned to face me with a smile. I peered around her to see a pan of lasagna sitting on the stove behind her.

  "I'm starving," I told her happily. "That smells really good." She had made my favorite food and I couldn't wait to eat it. Lauren had been home the last three nights in a row with dinner on the table and a shoulder to cry on. I was thankful for that. It had been a rough few days, and going home to my favorite comfort foods and my sister every night had lessened the stress considerably.

  "Look in the fridge," she said as she tilted her head in that direction. I walked around to
the kitchen and peeked inside.

  "Is that what I think it is?" I ask as I stared longingly at a pan with a layer of cocoa powder over mascarpone. My mouth was practically watering.

  "Yup," she answered. "It's tiramisu."

  "Oh, my God." I sighed. "I think I've died and gone to heaven."

  "Have a seat at the table," Lauren said with a smile.

  I practically jumped up and down in delight, as I hurried to the table and took a seat. I really needed this right now. I'd spent the rest of the afternoon sitting with Jensen. I'd loved every minute that I'd spent with him, but being at the hospital where everything was a reminder of what had happened, had weighed on me. It was good to be in familiar comforting surroundings.

  "How's Jensen doing today?" she asked as she carried a salad bowl to the table.

  "Grumpy," I told her with a shake of my head. "I can't wait until he comes home tomorrow. That should improve his mood considerably."

  "I can't imagine anyone being in a good mood stuck in the hospital for three days like that," she added as she walked back to the stove to cut the lasagna.

  "I think the nurses will be glad when he's gone," I said with a smile. "I had to scold him today for getting shitty with his nurse. I actually got him to apologize."

  "Really?" Lauren asked she looked at me.

  "Yeah. His mom couldn't even get him to do that yesterday."

  "He loves you, so he listens to you," she said as she carried two plates with slices of lasagna on them to the table.

  "I know." I smiled warmly as I grabbed the salad bowl. "I love him too."

  We spent the rest of our meal just catching up. Lauren spent a lot of time with Adam and sometimes we didn't see each other for days. I missed this, just hanging out with her and talking. It felt good.

  Half way through dessert I noticed Lauren starting to fidget nervously, and it was disconcerting. Lauren rarely let anything get to her and when something did bother her, it was usually something big. I started to get nervous myself as she continued talking about her work, looking more nervous by the minute. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.

  "Lauren," I interrupted her. "What's going on? What aren't you telling me?" A sudden insight hit me. "Did something happen with Adam?" She hadn't stayed with him for days. I thought she was staying here for me every night, but maybe they were having relationship problems.

  "Yes," she said guiltily as she pushed her empty plate away.

  "Did you guys break up?" I asked incredulously. Adam adored my sister, and the thought of them splitting up was heartbreaking. She'd be devastated.

  "No, no." She shook her head, her expression pained. "Nothing like that."

  "Are you pregnant?" I asked. She shook her head. I was starting to get freaked out now.

  "Then what?"

  She took in a breath and let it out with a resigned sigh. "Adam asked me to move in with him."

  "Oh?" I mumbled as I sat back in shock.

  "I told him yes," Lauren said quietly, her eyes fixed on mine. "I'm moving out in a few weeks."

  "I'm so happy for you, Lauren." I told her. I really was, but I was reeling from this revelation. I couldn't afford to live here by myself. I'd have to get a roommate if I wanted to stay here, and I wasn't sure I wanted to do that.

  "The lease isn't up until the end of the month, so you have time to figure out what you want to do." Lauren explained as I stared at her in shock. "I'm sure they'll let you sign a new lease if you decide to stay here."

  "Okay." I forced a smile. "I'll figure something out."

  "I'm sorry to pile this on you right now," she said apologetically. "He asked me on Saturday and I was waiting for the right time to tell you."

  "I'm alright with it Lauren," I lied. Inside I was in turmoil. Everything was going to change now. Everything.

  "Are you sure?" she asked me with suspicion as she watched me from across the table.

  "I'm fine," I insisted as I pushed my plate away. "I've got to call Jensen. I told him I'd call him when I made it home safe. He's probably worried by now."

  "Alright," Lauren replied, her face filled with worry, but she didn't say anything else. I rose from the table, grabbed my purse off the sofa, and went to my room. I shut the door and leaned back against it. I could feel the tears coming again, and I was so tired of crying. I pulled my phone out then dropped my bag on the floor. I kicked my shoes off and crawled up onto my bed to sit cross-legged in the center of the mattress, pulling the blankets up over my lap. The tears were spilling out of me in earnest now. I dropped my phone on the bed and cradled my face in my hands as I sobbed quietly, not wanting Lauren to hear me.

  My phone started ringing and I glanced at it, seeing Jensen's name on the screen. I managed a small smile as I picked the phone up. It was like he knew I needed him right now.

  "Hello?" My voice was still thick from crying.

  "Baby?" his deep voice rumbled with concern. "Are you crying?"

  "No," I denied with a sniffle.

  "You're a terrible liar." I could hear the smile in his voice. "What's wrong?"

  "I...I just miss you so much," I told him. It was the truth, and I didn't want to talk about Lauren moving out over the phone, especially when I hadn't figured out how I felt about it yet.

  "I miss you too, baby," he said longingly. "I'm so tired of sleeping alone in this fucking awful bed."

  "I wish you were here right now," I whispered. "I want you to hold me."

  "Oh, Sydney." He sighed. "I'd give anything to be there with you. I'd hold you all night."

  "What else would you do?" I asked breathlessly as I thought about his big warm body wrapped around mine. I heard him take in a deep breath and let it out raggedly.

  "I'd take what's mine," he growled out. The powerful flash of lust that hit me with his words was a welcome distraction from my inner turmoil.

  "Tell me," I demanded.

  "I'd grab a fist full of you hair and kiss you, pull you against me, let you feel how hard you make me." The rasp in his voice was more pronounced, and the sound made my sex clench with need.

  "Jensen," I pleaded helplessly as I laid back on my bed.

  "I'd run my hands all over your body, baby. Touch you everywhere. Pull your nipples into my mouth, and lick and suck them until you're writhing all over the bed for me."

  "Yes."

  "Then I'd touch you, and you'd be so wet and ready for me," he whispered. I could hear him groan with need. I untied my scrub pants and reached down between my thighs, my pelvis unconsciously thrusting upward as I ran my fingers through my soaking wet folds.

  "I am, baby," I whispered wantonly. "I'm so wet for you."

  "Are you touching yourself?" he asked, his voice wavering.

  "Yes," I answered.

  "Touch your clit. I want you to come. I want to hear you fall apart for me."

  I pressed my fingers to my clit, gasping at how swollen and sensitive it already was. "I'm so swollen already," I whimpered into the phone. His answering groan made my sex clench again.

  "Put your finger inside," he commanded. "Is it tight?"

  "Oh, yes," I moaned as I pressed a finger inside myself. "So tight."

  "Touch you clit again. Pretend it's me touching you." His voice was tight with lust.

  I swirled my fingertips over my clit firmly, feeling my climax start building immediately at my touch. I gasped at the sensation, and his answering growl almost sent me over the edge.

  "Are you close, baby?" he asked, his voice strained, his breathing fast and labored.

  "Yes, oh, yes," I gasped out. "I'm so fucking close."

  "Come, baby," he demanded in a harsh whisper. "Come now."

  I felt myself splinter apart, my body a willing slave to his command. White lights flashed behind my closed eyelids, my back arching up off the bed. Whimpering moans poured out of me as pleasure coursed through my entire body.

  "Yes, baby." He sighed. "That's it. I love the sounds you make."

  "Jensen," I moaned as
I came back down to earth, my mind filled with pure bliss. "I love you."

  "I love you too," he rumbled. "That was so fucking hot."

  I suddenly heard another voice in the background, but I couldn't make out the words.

  "I'm fine." Jensen was speaking and I could hear the discomfort in his voice. "I...was...just having a fight with my girlfriend," he mumbled. The other voice spoke again. "I'm alright. I don't need anything." There was a moment of silence, and then I could hear Jensen sigh deeply.

  "What was that about?" I asked curiously.

  "Apparently, my fucking heart rate goes up when I'm turned on," he said uncomfortably.

  "Oh, my God." I laughed. "You've still got the heart monitor on, don't you?"

  "Oh yeah." I could hear a hint of amusement in his voice now. "The nurse came in to check on me."

  I couldn't help but laugh at him. It was the first time I had laughed in days and it felt good.

  "I'm glad my discomfort can entertain you," he said with a laugh. We laughed together and it was so cathartic.

  "I needed that," I said with a sigh of contentment.

  "The orgasm or laughing at my expense?" he asked.

  "Both," I answered with a smirk.

  "You owe me now," he growled out.

  "Oh yeah?" I asked. "Why is that?"

  "Because now I've got fucking blue balls, and I want to hide under the bed from embarrassment."

  "You poor baby," I said patronizingly.

  "You better pay up tomorrow," he threatened. "It's only fair since you got to come."

  "Do you want me to suck your cock tomorrow?" I asked brazenly. "Would that make you feel better?"

  "What the fuck are you doing to me woman?" he asked incredulously. "Do you want the nurse to come back in here again?"

  "Sorry," I answered unapologetically.

  "I don't believe that for one second," he replied with a snort.

  "I love you," I said sincerely. "Do you believe that?"

  "All the way down to my bones, baby," he answered, his voice thick with emotion. "And I love you too." I let his words sink down into me for a moment, giving me the comfort and reassurance that I needed.

  "I'll be there around eight to pick you up tomorrow morning," I told him.