An Act of Restraint: Order & Chaos Book 1 Read online

  "You have no idea," I mumbled and kissed her senseless, before it even occurred to her to ask me what I meant by that.

  **********

  "Is this an F-100?" Jenny asked as I started the engine of my old black truck. The satisfying rumble never got old. She was looking around the interior appreciatively.

  "Yeah," I answered as I turned a surprised look at her. "It's a '65 stepside."

  "It's immaculate," she said in an awed voice as she ran her hand across the dash in front of her. "It's an inline six, right?" Now my mouth was hanging open. How the hell did she know what kind of engine was in my old pickup? She noticed me gaping at her. "What?" she asked with a smirk.

  "How the hell do you know that?" I asked incredulously.

  "I've been around cars my whole life." She shrugged and smiled. "My family owns an auto dealership. Maybe you've heard of it. It's Purcell Auto. I work there."

  "No, but I haven't bought a car since I was sixteen." I drove us out of the parking lot and pulled out onto the street.

  "Sixteen?" she asked quizzically.

  "Yeah, this is the only four-wheeled vehicle I've ever owned," I confessed with a grin. "I bought her to spite my father and ended up falling in love with her. I've been driving my Ford F-100 ever since."

  She suddenly started laughing. I gave her a bemused expression. "What's so funny?"

  "Your name is Ford, and you drive a Ford," she said as she smiled broadly at me.

  "You think that's bad, check this out," I grinned at her as I lifted my left arm and showed her the tattoo on my bicep.

  "Oh my God," she blurted out. "That's your truck. Is that one of your profoundly stupid tattoos?"

  "Absolutely not," I blurted out in mock offense. "She's my baby. I wanted her with me everywhere I go."

  Jenny reached out and ran her fingers over the tattoo on my bicep then down my arm. I shivered at her touch as tingling energy traveled through my body. Yet again, I wondered what she was doing to me. I'd never felt anything like it before.

  "What about this one?" she asked as her fingers paused on another tattoo farther down my arm. It was a knotted coil of rope wrapped around my forearm with a quote written above its length. She read it aloud softly. "There are limits to self-indulgence, none to restraint." She glanced up at me. "That's Gandhi, isn't it?"

  "Yeah," I whispered with a soft smile. I forgot that she took a philosophy class. She was an enigma to me. So very sexy, yet unexpectedly intelligent and complex. I wondered how many people misjudged her by her appearance. I completely understood how that felt.

  "Why did you get it?" she asked as she traced the coil of rope with gentle fingertips.

  "Let's just say that I was a self-involved, spoiled asshole with anger issues in my teens and early twenties, and leave it at that." I explained with a wry smile. "That tattoo reminds me never to fall into that stupidity again."

  She gave me a thoughtful expression as she reached over her shoulder and touched her own tattoo for a moment. She understood completely. Her tattoo represented something she wanted to change about herself too. My curiosity got the better of me.

  "Why did you want your tattoo, Jen?" I asked without thinking. She immediately looked embarrassed and stared down at her lap. I cringed inwardly as I realized my question was entirely too personal. Shit, I didn't want to scare her away, but it was too late now. I reached out and grabbed her hand. "Forget I asked. It's none of my business. I'm sorry." Her fingers were warm and soft as I twined them between mine. She didn't seem to mind and let me do it, so I kept holding her hand.

  "It's okay," she said reassuringly. "Let's just say that tonight's little debacle was a reminder of why I got it and why I need to make some changes in my life, and leave it at that."

  "Fair enough." I gave her a soft smile of understanding. We lapsed into silence, and Jenny started absently trailing the fingertips of her free hand up and down the back of my hand and wrist. I don't think she even realized she was doing it. It felt good, so I acted like I didn't notice because I didn't want her to stop touching me. I knew now that I wasn't imagining it, this connection between the two of us, but I needed to tread carefully here. She seemed a bit gun shy, and I didn't want her to run off on me again.

  When I pulled into my garage a little while later, her touch changed. Her caresses became firmer and purposeful, a sexual undertone spilling out from her fingertips into my skin like electric heat. My heart rate spiked as arousal began to rise up inside me. Jenny lifted my hand up toward her face. I watched in stupefied fascination as she sucked my index finger into her mouth, her plush lips closing snugly around it. She began sucking on my finger with long pulls that had me moaning immediately. Her eyes lit up in impish glee as she stared back at me.

  "Jen," I groaned out desperately. Her answering moan around my finger made me shudder with need. I wanted her so badly that I ached inside. She unlatched her seat belt and climbed up onto the bench seat. She crawled sensuously across to me, still sucking on my finger until she was almost on top of me. Then she pulled my finger out of her mouth, grabbed the collar of my tank into her fists, and crushed her lips to mine.

  Holy hell, it was better than I remembered, the taste and feel of her soft full lips taking my breath away. Her tongue licked across my lips, and I sighed as I parted them to let her in. She plundered my mouth, kissing me deeply and thoroughly, as one of her hands landed on my cock, rubbing me through my jeans as I grew hard and thick. She was already pushing me to the brink, and I had to slow her down.

  I grabbed her shoulders, flipped her abruptly onto her back in my lap, and wrested control of the kiss away from her. She fought to get it back with a growl as her hands clenched into my hair, but I wouldn't have it. I put my hand on the inside of her thigh and slid it up under her dress. I smiled into the kiss, her growl turning into a desperate whimper as my fingertips brushed her already soaked panties.

  I deepened the kiss, exploring her mouth with my tongue as I slipped my fingers under her panties and found her hot wet core. My middle finger slipped into her easily, making me groan in approval. She started writhing and mewling on my lap as I thrust my finger in and out of her with slow deep strokes. She felt like soft warm velvet inside, like fucking heaven. I couldn't wait to fuck her again.

  I added a second finger, and her body shuddered, letting me know she liked it. I crooked my fingers and found the spongy area that was her G-spot, and stroked it firmly until her body tensed and her back began to arch. Her breath hitched and I knew she was right on the brink, so I pulled my fingers out of her. She whined in frustration.

  "Ford," she growled out grumpily as I pulled my lips from hers. She glared at me, and I smiled evilly down at her.

  "Jen," I shot back mockingly with a dark laugh. God, I loved teasing her. She made a fist and hit me in the chest, but it didn't really hurt. I suspected that she enjoyed my teasing just as much as I did.

  I lifted her up into a sitting position then opened the driver's side door and climbed out. I turned and scooped her up out of the cab, cradling her close to my chest. She felt so good, so right in my arms, like she belonged there.

  "I can walk just fine," she grumbled as she continued glaring at me.

  "But I like holding you," I told her in a gentler tone than I intended. Her eyes softened, and she didn't complain again as I carried her out of the garage and up to my apartment. I took her into my room and set her down on her feet next to the bed. Her eyes glowed with desire as she reached back and lowered the zipper of her dress. I held my breath in anticipation. She held the front of her dress against her breasts as her eyes gleamed wickedly.

  "How bad do you want to see them?" she asked playfully as she shimmied hypnotically in front of me. The woman sure knew how to taunt a man.

  "This bad," I growled and jerked the front of her dress down before she could stop me. She gasped in surprise as I stared at her blue satin and lace bra, and her magnificent cleavage. I leaned down and kissed the swell of her right breast, unab
le to help myself.

  I reached down and yanked the hem of her dress up until it was in a wad around her waist. I slipped a hand under the waistband of her thong and went straight for her clit. I rubbed it vigorously with a fingertip, and she went wild, flinging her arms around my neck and pressing herself against me. She started climbing up my body like a damn monkey, and I had to grab her ass to keep her from falling on the floor. I stepped back to catch my balance and hit the edge of the bed. I fell backward with Jenny riding my upper body down onto the bed. She ended up straddling me and kissing me into oblivion, before it occurred to me that she had gotten the upper hand again. I felt her smile triumphantly against my lips. It was a short-lived victory.

  I rolled suddenly, taking Jenny with me until she was pinned to the bed underneath me. I shoved her legs apart and ground my denim covered dick against the soaked satin of her thong. Her eyes glazed over with pleasure as her fingers gripped the hair on the back of my head. I plundered her mouth with my tongue before she could react, making her moan and whimper desperately.

  I delved into her bra with one hand and pulled her right breast out, thumbing her nipple roughly. She arched her back, lifting up into my touch. I latched onto her nipple with my mouth, sucking and nibbling on it vigorously. Jenny moaned and whimpered deliciously from the attention. She started clawing at my clothes frenziedly as she said my name in a crazed voice.

  I pulled away and grabbed her wrists, gripping them together snugly in one hand between us. "Settle down," I snapped out commandingly, then watched her face for her reaction. It was time to find out how she responded to being restrained and dominated. Her sapphire eyes lit up like fire, her lips parting as her body instantly stilled. Oh fuck yes! Underneath all that fire and wild raw sexuality was a born submissive. You just had to earn it. I was more than up to the challenge, loved it actually. I had no idea battling for dominance could be this much fun.

  I lifted her arms above her head and pinned her with a hard stare. "Don't move," I told her harshly. She complied immediately without a fight. I swiftly pulled her clothes from her body, then stood and undressed under her gaze. An image of my hemp rope twined around her arms and body suddenly appeared in my mind. It made my dick twitch and ache almost painfully. I needed to be inside her right fucking now.

  She must have seen my moment of weakness, because her eyes lit up evilly, and she spread her legs wide, exposing her glistening pussy to me. She reached between her legs and started fingering her clit slowly and sensuously. Holy fucking hell. I stared helplessly like an imbecile with my mouth hanging open.

  "See?" she said tauntingly. "You're not the boss of me." Then she started finger fucking herself with a defiant gleam in her eyes. Holy motherfucking hell! She was the devil incarnate.

  "We'll see about that," I growled as I reached into my nightstand for a condom, fighting the urge to smile like an idiot at her. I slipped the condom on and climbed back onto the bed to hover over her, my mouth inches from hers. "Do you want your own fingers, or do you want my dick? It's your choice, honey." My voice was deep and gravelly as I watched her eyes focused on my cock longingly. Oh, I knew I had her where I wanted her now.

  "I...I want your dick," she whispered breathlessly as she met my eyes again, her eyes pleading and desperate now.

  "Beg for it," I snarled against her lips.

  "Please, Ford," she implored. "Please, I want your cock inside me. I need it so bad. Please. Just do it."

  "I love it when you beg, Jen," I growled. "Do it again and I'll fuck you."

  "Please, please, please..." She trailed off into incoherent whimpers and mewls as I began pressing my cock into her slowly. She needed more time to get used to my size, and I had to be careful, no matter how much I wanted to slam into her right now.

  I started making slow shallow thrusts, and her body ignited, the flush of pink across her chest and cheeks deepening with her arousal.

  "More, Ford. Please," she begged again as she thrust her hips up to meet mine, pushing me deeper into her. Fuck, she was so hot and tight and perfect. I snarled and gave her what she wanted, moving faster and deeper with each successive thrust. She wailed and screamed as I made her come, her nails digging into my shoulders. I grunted and snarled as I pounded into her again and again. She kept coming on and on, her pussy squeezing and clenching down on me repeatedly.

  I felt my release rushing up on me like a fucking tidal wave that I couldn't stop if I tried. My balls tightened and the pressure burst out of me in a rush.

  "Oh fuck, Jen!" I shouted. "Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!" I slammed into her once more as I exploded inside her, simultaneously sending her flying again. I'd never felt anything like this, not even last weekend with her. My body and my heart soared into the sky. Holy hell, I knew to my very core that she was mine. She just didn't know it yet.

  When we finally came back down, I discarded the condom then crawled into bed next to my limp and exhausted Jenny. I gathered her soft warm body into my arms and held her tight as I drifted off, suddenly afraid that this was too good to be true, and she'd be gone again in the morning.

  Chapter 5

  Jenny

  I was disoriented and confused for a moment as I slowly opened my eyes in the dim early-morning light. I wasn't in my bed, and I wasn't alone. A warm hard body pressed against my back, and powerful arms wrapped around me tight. Ford. I remembered last night and smiled sleepily. I was deliciously sore in all the right places, and being held by the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. The man who gave me pleasure like I never felt before. Just like last weekend with him, that aching dissatisfied emptiness I usually felt the morning after I had sex with someone wasn't there. It scared the shit out of me and an impulse to run hit me hard. I was getting attached to Ford, and I was terrified.

  He was so easy to talk to and to be around. It felt for the very first time, like someone really truly saw me. I felt like I could be myself and not worry about appearances and expectations. He didn't seem to care about any of that, and that was enough to keep me right where I was. I wiggled back further into his arms and tried to go to sleep again, but my bladder had other ideas.

  I tried to ignore it for a few minutes, but the insistent pressure made sleeping again impossible. With a quiet sigh, I carefully extricated myself from Ford's embrace and stood next to the bed. He grumbled in his sleep, and I couldn't help smiling to myself in amusement. Who would have thought that this imposing tattooed man loved to cuddle? The man was a paradox to me, a puzzle that I wanted to solve and figure out. This time when the urge to touch him hit me, I didn't deny it. I brushed his blond hair off of his face with gentle fingertips. I took a moment to admire his full lips and rugged good looks, then turned and tiptoed toward the nearby bathroom across the room.

  "You promised you wouldn't take off again, Jen," Ford suddenly said in a sleepy rumble behind me. I turned back to find a vulnerable look on his face that made me ashamed of my behavior last weekend.

  "I'm just going to use your bathroom, Ford," I reassured him, noting his eyes roving all over my nude body with heat in them.

  "Come right back, honey." His term of endearment made fear flutter inside me, but I shoved it away. It was just a word. It didn't mean anything.

  "Okay," I whispered. I went into the bathroom and closed the door, leaning back against it and trying to calm my racing heart. I caught myself looking longingly at the window across from the door. No, no, no, I wasn't going to run this time. I really liked him, and I wanted to be a different person. Other people did this all the time, and so could I. I ignored the trembling sick feeling in my stomach and took care of my bladder. As I finished washing my hands, I heard a phone ringing that wasn't my ring tone. It abruptly ended as Ford answered his phone.

  "Hey, Natie," he said affectionately. "How's my favorite girl?"

  His favorite girl? Hot ugly jealousy surged to life inside me. It was unexpected and frightening. Oh my God, was he some cheating asshole? Was I the other woman?

  "How's the
little peanut doing?" Ford asked. "Still acting just like his mother?" Ford laughed at whatever the answer was.

  Mother? Was Ford cheating on the mother of his own child with me? Oh fuck, was I a home-wrecker now? Shame nearly blasted a hole through me. I needed to get out of here.

  I burst out of the bathroom shooting a hard glare in Ford's direction. His eyes flashed over to mine with a smile that faltered when he saw my face. I looked away and started hastily gathering my clothes up off the floor.

  "Yeah, I'll be there, Natie," he said in resignation as he watched me with growing concern as I put on my bra and panties. "Don't worry. I'm fine with it." He sat up and swung his legs off the side of the bed, exposing all his nude glory to me. I paused and stared helplessly at him. Son of a bitch, I still wanted this cheating asshole. What was wrong with me? "Listen, Natie. Can I call you back? I'm kind of in the middle of something."

  Yeah, sure you are. You're in the middle of using me to cheat on your family. Asshole.

  "Love you too. Bye."

  Love? Scalding anger speared through me.

  "Jen?" he asked in a perplexed voice as he put his phone on the nightstand. "What's wrong?"

  I glared at him as I pulled my dress on. Like he didn't know. I ignored him as I picked up my shoes and stomped out of his bedroom. Now I had to walk out of here in shame for an entirely different reason. I felt used and embarrassed. I was a fool for thinking I found something different with this man, and that I could change my life in any way. Now I was stuck with the tattoo this jackass put on me and the reminder of this moment that would live with me forever.

  Hot tears fell from my eyes as I rushed across Ford's living room, his voice calling out my name behind me. I flung the door open at the top of the stairs and hurried down the steps, almost slipping on one of them in my haste and wrenching my shoulder as I grabbed the rail to catch myself.